#most furries that have a twitter are not to be fucking trusted

[135-film]

i was not expecting mothsprout on my dashboard but i straight up dont wanna see that dogfuckers art at all ever again

[raytoebiter]

꩜ִ ࣪𖤐 profiles ִ ࣪𖤐꩜

Yacult (scara's group)

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|| previous episode - next episode. ||

scaramouche - first year. everyone knows him as the son of the CEO of Raiden Company. has major mommy issues. known for his crass humour and style. some teachers have a hate-love relationship with him in terms of academics. despite being rumoured as a delinquent, he's actually compliant if he finds reason to oblige, that is. likes Punk Music and Yakult a lot.

childe - second year. everyone knows him as that “one tall freak” because of his humour and abnormal height for his age. ironically likes Sonadow but no one needs to know that. has a lot of connections throughout the school and even managed to befriend one of the master teachers in Teyvat High. easily became the representative and role model for the entire school due to his popularity on Twitter. got somehow confirmed in twt because of Scaramouche's mother. knows all the gossip and tortures everyone's notifications for it.

furina - first year. scaramouche's cousin. a “prodigy” in acting and has been offered to go to a prestigious acting school once but refused because she wanted to stay with her friends. The offer is still up though. just like Scaramouche, her family is super, duper rich. the only person Scaramouche trusts with his family issues aside from Childe. stays in touch with gossip. Is really, really popular among women (a girl’s' girl). empathises with scaramouche the most and is always the first to listen to him.

heizou - second year. certified yapperist who never shuts up especially about the latest gossip. also really consistent in academics. got a position in the student council to handle their Twitter Page and Public Reputation (PR). whenever things gets too tense, he's always there to offer some comedic relief (alongside with childe).

venti - second year. known for attending every poetry contest and winning each one of them. has only one competitor which is Kazuha. once got called to the principal’s office for drinking but then got sent back because they thought he was a first year in Senior High. everyone's favourite go-to when they need advice, whether about a relationship, academics (sometimes), problems or anything in general—he's always there like the wind!

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───〃★Tunes of Your Heartbeat masterlist

synopsis: in which your fate somehow gets entangled into a jumble of mess between punk music in cozy cafés, intense rivalry, cherished yakults, parallelograms and quantum physics, competitions in contests and rainy days. Or in other words; the universe seems to fucking hate your guts for whatever reason and decided to curse your love life with your awful crass emo twink-a-fuck rival. The question is; did the curse work?

Taglist: @xiaomypookiemouchiepie , @raineyun , @onigirilaw , @ecinoriri , @localscarasimp , @potteraep , @shutingstar , @kaikaidenki , @starsacubi , @scaraenthusiast , @dazqa , @wraithisd3adinside , @x-hihihi-x

authors' notes - will i get cancelled for making childe like gay furries? perchance.

(ask to be added or removed)

[autumnbrambleagain]

my reviews so far:

cohost: basically tumblr, but you can post porn. you cannot see how many likes a post got, even if it's your own, without going to notifications and manually counting and adding it all up. while i'm not a clout chaser, it feels kinda lonely not knowing if people liked this picture or that without having to get out an abacus. if i wanted interaction entirely hidden from me, i'd set up my own gallery website on a neocities and be done with it.

bluesky: it's just twitter but not run by elon musk. that makes it better than twitter run by elon musk, but no better than twitter was before elon musk.

itaku: probably the strongest of the competitors to, say, FA, but mandatory tagging, and its mandatory tags being different from those on other sites, means you can't just "upload and forget." uploading a backlog of several years' worth of images especially would be a multiple hour task from having to figure out what unique tags i gotta put on every single thing. also character limit makes it hard for me to find a place for my stories, which is like 50% of everything i do, so.

furaffinity: the grandpappy. ailing, outdated, increasingly shitty rules. engagement is on a downturn with the dozens of diasporas, its interface is deeply outdated, it can't display writing more complex than a .txt. the big advantage it had of intertia is finally slowly failing on it.

tumblr: you can't even say the word transgender here without getting flagged as mature. you can post porn, but only if you set it to Everyone, meaning if you do the responsible thing and try to keep children from seeing your porn you're punished. if you just let kids see your porn, they do nothing at all to stop you. this place betrayed my trust too many times by this point.

weasyl: a picture from a really great artist will get 500 favs on furaffinity and 25 on weasyl. this place is fucking dead and has been for the past decade.

sofurry: ill be honest i haven't looked at yiffstar since the mid 00s

inkbunny: probably one of the most robust websites, with the widest set of rules for drawing whatever you want. powerful blacklist and tagging system, good gallery mode. not sure on its ability to host stories. you can find cub porn on there but you could find that on FA back in the day too. downside: cannot do porn of humans, meaning weird human x furry is off the table, which i dont do much of but is still a downer. downside is the stigma of it being the cub website means most of the people you'd find on other sites aren't here so it's really its own ecology. also greenreaper is a weird transphobe transperson kinda thing and ew.

discord/telegram: these are chat programs, not websites.

[godbirdart]

Hi there! Short time appreciator of your stuff (I found you a few months ago + love your style sm!!) first time asker, and this might be an odd one, but do you have any suggestions for how to get involved with the furry community? Just, where to meet folk, maybe what to keep an eye out for (good or bad!) and such? I'd love to chat to folk and such but I'm just a very nervous person ^^;

You don't have to post or answer this if you don't want to! But thank you for all the cool art and the funny memes, I love seeing Sebastian with assorted snacks ^-^ you take care!!

aaA thank you!!

i'll be honest i personally skirt around the edge of the community because i too am a shy creature that emerges only every waning moon to hand people artwork

depending on the involvement level you want, you've got a number of options. a lot of people are still active on twitter, and mastodon and cohost seem to be picking up! i know mastodon has a few furry instances, such as meow.social, though I don't use mastodon that much so I cannot say if the community there is good, bad, or otherwise. same goes for cohost. last i checked it's very much so a twitter clone, but many furries i've noticed have skipped over there. pillowfort.social has a small Furry Artists community. if in doubt, there's also /r/furry on reddit.

if you just want to appreciate art and maybe comment every now and again, tumblr is pretty good. sure the tags can be a little broken sometimes, but at least you'll find the content you're looking for when you look up Furry in the search. same goes for deviantart and furaffinity, ofc depending on your interests you may have to dig around a little to get to the content / art style you specifically like. both tumblr and twitter i find are somewhat good at recommending similar artists if you follow some. sometimes there’s a recommended that pops up after you hit follow on the profile on twitter or a “blogs like these” section on tumblr, so there’s that.

telegram and discord are still popular as ever, though i feel finding a Good chat can be a herculean task. the r/furry reddit mentioned above has both telegram and discord [both sfw].

it’s super likely there’s a local / regional furry group for your area. some meet irl, even! most of these groups have telegram chats or discords if you want to meet people closer to home. of course there's also the Countless furry conventions going on too

it all depends on your social level as an individual. you can dip your toes in just by commenting on and following other furries, or opt to attend meetups and conventions and meet people in person

as for things to stay away from, the two biggest problems i want to mention are:

furry raiders. an alt-right furry group.

people with the zeta symbol “ζ“ in their bio /  name. now, the presence of a symbol isn’t always indicative of someone’s affiliation with something, so use discretion; but the zeta symbol is often used by people who are zoosadists / into be*stiality. these people are not furries, they don’t represent what the community is about, and everyone hates them. we can and will call the authorities on these people for animal abuse. if you see someone telling “zoos” to fuck off, there’s a 99.9999% chance these are the people that person is talking about.

these aren’t the only issues of course, but i feel they’re the most prominent ones. also maybe be wary of people who constantly say things like “no politics uwu” - especially if they turn it into some furry pun like “pawlitics”. maybe i personally have just had too many uncomfortable interactions with people like this and now i’m biased, but i’ve grown to never trust that.

apologies, i’m a bit of a hermit in online spaces and can’t offer anything more specific. if anyone has cooler recommendations they’re welcome to add them in the replies / reblogs!!

[atticmonsterstream]

TL:DR Life has always been kinda terrible and for the first time ever, it's not and I am happy.

[TW in post, Talk of Suicide/Self Harm]

I'm not really sure why I am sharing this now, or what has compelled me to share this story, but I feel like it might make somebody smile, and even if this post is a bit of a thread, I always see people share negative or sad posts (Especially on Twitter) and I kinda wanna change that a little.

I grew up as a really sad kid, like I was full on depressed most of my entire life, I'd spend nights just randomly crying or just being miserable, stuck in my own head and thoughts all of the time, all the way until I was a teeneger, where I hit the lowest point of my life. I hit that rock bottom where you start to have thoughts that nobody ever should, and even acted on them a few times, and luckily survived, but always felt worse for it, until I found an escape online, and because of escapism, started to be somebody (Or something) else online. That's how AtticMonster came to be. It started with Second Life, and eventually became my entire presence online, a dumb black and green lizard and a way to not be myself anymore, and in the time that I have been Attic, I have discovered so much about myself by finding out what 'Attic' liked.

I didn't like men, of course not, cause that would be gay right? But Attic? He was free to do what he wanted, who could judge somebody that didn't exist. Wearing women's clothes? What am I trans? Don't be stupid. But Attic? He isnt even real, so it didn't matter what he wore. I know now that those things don't matter, but young me thought I'd be crucified for it. For so long I closed off my life to everything I felt about myself and split myself in two because I have always feared not being accepted, and had always played it safe, I was a bit of a shitty person in real life because I was playing the character of me, or what I perceived as me, and online I was who I wanted to be but felt like I couldn't be. Because of this, I let real me kind of fall to the side. I got in debt, I got fat, I didn't look after myself and left a huge mess for me to fix later Because I didn't plan on there being a later, and maybe escaped online a little too hard, but in the last few years, I've finally realised that online me and real me are the same person, of course. Part of obviously always knew this, and realising that I could be who I was online, but in person, really changed my life for the better. I learned about being non-binary from an old friend and Steven Universe, and so I became they/them and am infinitely more comfortable with it. I learned how to talk to people, to make friends, to rely on people because of the furry community, and for the first time I felt like I wasn't alone. I learned how to take charge of my life seeing so many friends fight battles so much vaster than my own, friends going through trans journeys, friends with abusive partners, people losing partners, people losing everything, and what was my problem? I don't even know anymore, I was just sad.

Fast forwards a few years to now, and I finally think I've managed to work things out. I have a great job, and I've paid off over half of all the debt I got myself into (and trust me, the number was sickeningly high, you don't wanna know).

I am more myself than ever, I am non binary, I am fucking weird, and I'm proud of it. I absolutely LOVE streaming, and I work hard every day to make it better and better, because there's nothing I'd love to do more focus all my time and energy into it (Curse you Bezoz for not paying us more!) But I think the most important thing is, for the first time in a long time:

I am happy.

[hermitcrabrave]

What your favourite hermit says about you

except i didn't do all of them bc this was a low-effort idea and i am simply one person lol GeminiTay- you're really chill but have a knack for messing with people lightheartedly. you like the colour green to an unhealthy extent. but only natural greens. You're really into aesthetics and '-core's, and probably have an aesthetic wallpaper. If you've been watching hermitcraft since before season 8, Scar was probably your favourite.

PearlescentMoon- you've probably been watching Pearl for a really long time already, and are happy to see her get to collab with so many of the hermits. You're considered the 'responsible one' of your friend group but i would not trust you with a lighter or spray paint. If you're a 3rd Life fan as well, a third of your time is spent thinking about what Could have been if Pearl had been on the server...

GoodTimesWithScar- You have good taste in fanfiction. This has nothing to do with Scar, but every Scar fan i've met is like this. You understand how chaotic Scar can be, and you love it. you firmly hold the stance that Scar in 3rd Life did Nothing wrong, and you would be correct :) You seem like a person who would have a stance against cursing, so it absolutely floors me when i hear you casually say 'fuck'. Also, your day instantly gets better when Scar posts Jellie content on twitter, and that is very understandable <3

BdoubleO- you have adhd. but that's fine, because bdubs' energy keeps you entertained, and his voice seems to strike a chord in your brain that just makes you happy. Your favourite story arc is probably the nHo jungle one, and you really like his new moss skin. You make fun of him for being short, but you're probably 5'3 yourself. Despite what most believe, you don't have anger issues, but you find loud humor kinda funny sometimes.

Mumbo Jumbo- You most likely have no idea what half of the redstone-y stuff he says even means, and you probably don't eve have a desire to learn. But that's fine, none of us are judging. You wish mumbo would be less self-deprecating, but you also think confidence looks weird on him. When you found out he was younger than Grian you lost your mind. and if you didn't know already,, you're welcome <3

Grian- you're either pretty new to hermitcraft, or have been here awhile. You're not actually as feral or chaotic as you're made out to be, and you genuinely care about the people you're close to, even if you have a hard time showing it. You probably own minecraft merchandise from the 2012 Era. You watched minecraft youtubers for about a solid 6 months before you ever even played the game.

Rendog- I could tell you you're a furry, or get way too enveloped in lore, but these are things you've heard many many times already, if you didn't already know them. You're a little bit h*rny on main, but thats okay. 3rd Life is your favourite mini-series, and you instantly latched onto Martyn, despite having never watched yogs content ever. You love his voice, and chances are, if you aren't LGBTQ+, yes you are.

Xisuma- you are in desperate need of a father figure. it's ok bestie, me too

Iskall85- Based. no but really, lol. you probably say "hallo" at least sometimes because of him. You think his whole green vibe thing going on is so cool, and, if you haven't made/looked at a stimboard before, you probably should. You're most likely some form of trans or nonbinary, and possibly think there was a lot of missed opportunity for Archetechs/Sahara projects in season 7. Extra note: Iskall's season 8 so far has been so fun and entertaining to watch. you have a truly iconic fav.

VintageBeef- You miss old Team Canada videos. Like seeing Beef collab with other people, and you genuinely just wanna give him a hug. valid. he feels like he gives good hugs. You have a really confusing but also specific music taste, but i feel like you'd be really good at suggesting good songs for me to listen to. ((drug cw under the cut))

wouldn't surprise me if you've had weed, honestly.

[g0dtier]

Ok look even i realize i cant make a post like that before elaborating so as someone who has an art degree, was groomed themselves and was raised by someone who worked with teenagers who were groomed specifically for 20 years, heres my take on why tumblrs mentality towards fiction (&real degeneracy) is wrong and what you can do to help victims

Im gonna leave out the whole "fiction = reality" shit because at this point everyone knows it doesnt, they just cherry pick where to believe it does. This is not a black and white issue. Fiction may bring up something that was already there, but since none of us are shooting celebs because of books or molesting animals cause furry shit exists, its safe to say theres a line. 1000s of teen boys idealize that one dipshit from fight club. 99% grow out of it. The few that dont were already fucked up and wouldve ended up blowing some shit up either way. No, ao3 is not normalizing pedophilia and you are in no way helping victims. Youre kind of being a detriment.

Pedophiles may use fiction to groom kids, but they did that before fandom existed as well. There is no big difference between using fiction of 2 teens vs fiction of 2 adults to groom a kid cause a pedophile will either say "youre so much more mature than these fictional kids" or "youre so mature for your age you might as well be an adult, i think this fictional adult couple really represents us" and the minor will still take it as a compliment because that is the point of the action. The reason the abusers can take advantage of them is because they want that validation, for reasons listed below. The form that validation comes in doesnt matter.

Tumblrs mentality is purely focused on outrage. Its about hating the perpetrators and pretending people who arent perpetrators actually are, not about helping the victims.

People here have a wrong idea of what a relationship between a minor & pedophile looks like & how they function. People forget that while to us normal people the minors come across as victims in a horrifying situation (which they are), to the minors themselves it doesnt look anything like that. The problem with many of these relationships is not that the minors dont know what theyre doing or are doing it against their will, the problem most of the time is that they, in their minds, are active participants who choose to do this.

Pedos often actively look for kids in fragile situations. No self esteem, bad home life, severe depression. These are the reasons kids want the validation i listed before. Theyre vulnerable to it because they dont get any of it anywhere else and here theres an adult figure just giving it to them.

The point of a grooming is to give the kid validation and make the kid rely on them. To make the kid believe that the adult is the only one who understands them. Its to put the responsibility of the abusers mental wellbeing on the kids' shoulders in the kids' head. And 99% of the time kids already have a close relationship with the abuser when it gets to that point because of aforementioned validation. They create codependency.

So you know what angrily screeching "pedophile!" at any adult interacting on any level with a teenager does? It gives the abuser a reason to call themselves the victim and itll give the minor, whos likely already reluctant to be open about something an abuser does making them uncomfortable because many of them already have low self esteem and dont trust their own judgment and are scared of the consequences (for example: losing what to them is the only person that understands them) even less likely to talk about it. Because regardless of what tumblr thinks, most of these kids do not realize theyre being abused until much later. Theyre not waiting for someone to give them an out.

And no, no matter how hard you try, youre never gonna convince teens that the person theyre talking to is abusing them. Almost every single victim talks about how they hate abusers but how theirs isnt one, adults included. Theyre just misunderstood, or lonely, or really didnt mean it like that. Teens arent gonna listen to randos on the internet trying to convince them the 23yo who "relies on them for help and who is only in love with them, a 15yo, because theyre just really special and cool" is an abuser. Teens are gonna do stuff behind the back of others and lie about it because teens have a really bad case of "dont tell me what to do" syndrome.

What you CAN do to help teens:

- vote for more funding to health care, specifically mental health care. I know everyone rags on cps but cps does not take away children for no reason and will ALWAYS strife to work it out with the parents by offering personal help if possible

- strife to create a safe space for teens to talk about their experiences. Demonizing any adult interacting with children, no matter how creepy it may seem to you or me, makes the victims more reluctant to come forward. Theyre abuse victims. Adult abuse victims dont respond well to "girl youre being abused leave him!!" either. They respond a lot better to "wow dont you think he shouldnt treat you like that? Dont you think your feelings matter and hes being unfair to you?". You need to demonize the actions, not the context of the relationship because teens have already decided the context itself is fine and its usually not what they have a problem with and they wont till theyre older, no matter how hard you try to convince them.

- giving teens safe spaces to learn/talk about sex and what is or isnt right in a relationship. Most pedophiles are not stable. Theyre often codependent or manipulative or overbearing. Teach kids how to recognize these signs and that theyre not ok.

What doesnt help teens:

- taking down ao3 or yelling that some horndog on twitter drew an adult character looking too young. Taboo fiction is not linked to actual degeneracy and doesnt normalize any of it and is not a more succesful tool to help groom kids than anything else. Pretending it is will make minors less likely to seek help tho because the fear of backlash as stated above.

[randombubblegum]

hiii syd hope you are well. alright,

the thing that gets me most mad about travis rn is that i can see him spiralling into a pit of awsten-esque parasocial mooching. especially in his discord server, it's honestly disconcerting how he saw all the shit awsten goes through and also encourages in order to "maintain" this business model, so to speak, and was like, "sure why not." like it's getting pretty bad in there...tempted every day to save my money and leave but it's kind of like watching a house silently burn down in the middle of the night.

plus as a Travis Enjoyer (debatable these days honestly) myself, these people are sooo weird about their interest in him but the worst part is they refuse to keep it in a designated space AWAY from him. they openly tweet about how he's their bestie like they did with awsten pre-new year's and i don't love where it's all going.

okay, that's all. sorry for the pessimism that's just the frontline perspective. i try to keep that discord muted and only look occasionally. love yaaa bye 🤪

oofa doofa……that is a lot!!! and frankly i trust your take bc this is exactly what ive also been seeing from travis basically since the discord was established. he has NO understanding of parasociality or what it even means as a concept, clearly, and apparently has managed to NOT learn at all since the very beginning of the podcast when they were reading fic without author permission and when he was *checks notes* reading multiple chapters of a very poorly written fic that included hatefic elements about his real friends REAL girlfriends. interesting!

the people who think travis is their friend and say so publicly are fucking deranged. i mean that. somehow the most insane, socially maladjusted, freakshow subset of parxies i have EVER seen and that is saying something. literally saw one of them virtue signal on twitter about someone making a tame joke about furry porn (literally just mentioning the concept of furry porn to someone who….. writes furry books?) as if that was something egregious and inappropriate while ALSO running a fucking giveaway for his books with the specific goal of befriending TRAVIS IN REAL LIFE!!!! like they throw money at him on venmo to try and be his friend!!! and also i have to go ahead and mention yes this is also the person who wrote weirdly invasive shipping fic about travis’ irl friends yet continues to interact with him as if theres not a massive parasocial fan boundary being crossed there ;)

the worst fucking part about it all is that as objectively weird and insane and CREEPY they are in that discord (ive seen the screenshots), travis just lets it slide?? encourages it by responding???? i DONT understand how youve been bffs with the object of parasocial standom for this long and somehow not understood it at all. like as a concept. i get you wanna plug your books and you need readers but i promise you this is gonna bite you in the ass. maybe sooner than you think. what happens when something unsavory from your past comes to light and these people cannibalize you?? what happens when one of them gets too fucking weird and shows up at your literal house? starts telling people youre dating? you open an ugly ugly box when you fail to maintain the fan/creator boundaries like this!!!!!!!

anyway i wouldnt blame you for leaving but promise me before you do youll like drop a logical argument pointing out the hypocrisy and lack of basic social boundaries in there just to torch the earth LOL ill even help you write up the comment if u want. im just so sick of these ppl having the gall to act like this and then also have the gall to chastise other fans for anything

[codenamesazanka]

@grippingtraverse Hello! Thanks for these wonderful asks!

Simplified, short answer: I don't think so! Not really. The framework and coherency of 'Person/Character of color' collapses when applied to Dabi (a fictional Japanese character in fictional sci-fiJapan, as written by a irl Japanese author and published in irl Japan) in context of the work, within the story and outside of it. There’s maybe something to be said about how Japanese manga characters are seen in America and how they’re treated by Americans, whether it’s believing them to be “white because they don’t look Japanese” or as part of treating a foreign work with Orientalist lenses in general, so I can understand a bit of the sentiment; but I was focusing on the in-universe context of the story, a watsonian perspective.

Plus, by those standards, Spinner is a 'character of color' as well. I'm not so much relating to him because he's a 'lizard/furry/scalie', I'm relating to him because he's also a 'character of color' - esp. because of how his hikkikomori/depression is portrayed in a way that I feel is different from American depictions - who's being further discriminated against for another trait. Of course, that's all my personal projection and reading; but I think I'm allowed that?

You've nailed it though! All you said about as far as the fantasy story is concerned, Dabi at the very least isn't discrimination against for an all-body animal mutant quirk. Maybe people think he's still a heteromorph of sorts because of his burns - I wouldn't be surprised! - but that's not an experience of his that's been shown, and the most someone had described him is someone with a 'patchwork face'.

As for Japanese fandom...! From what I've seen on twitter, they see what Spinner has experienced as discrimination, and have likened it to the racism that exist in our world, but *insert disclaimer about it being fictional*. As I do, when I call Dabi a *fantasy*-racist.

Not so much about the interaction between Dabi and Spinner, but related: What has been most surprising to me is the significance some in the Japanese fandom get from Chapter 302's Touya being on the computer, and the things he says. I hate to reveal it like this and not in a proper meta post, but that chapter gives them vibes that 13-year-old Touya, lacking parental attention, has been on the internet a bit too much looking for answers, and have wandered into a few questionable message boards.

Apparently the stuff Touya says about modern heroes and enlightenment books sound like repetitions of stuff he's read online which has a sort of 2ch/4ch feel to them lol. "Words of a 13-year-old who has surfed the net." There's one tweet that jokes he's been on woman-bashing threads; another that says Touya reminds them of a 'net-uyo' phase; yet another that wonders if things had gotten worse, he would've joined the CRC. This is, of course, their interpretations as well; but we can't all be making shit up when there's implications in the story that gets a bunch of people thinking this. These were the vibes I got well, though from a different angle.

(I'd link to the tweets, but given how I've apparently really pissed some people off with a mostly tongue-in-cheek 'headcanon' so much things got like this, I cannot trust people not to go harassing these twitter users, waking up one day to people yelling at them in a foreign language. I don't want to think it'll get that bad, but. Better not risk it.)

**I feel bad. I feel it's pretty low of me to use all this *vaguely gestures above* to try to fend off anime-fandom accusations that I'm racist, or I'm making shit up because I hate Dabi (I don't, actually) so much I need to, or that I'm a crazy shipper doing all this for fucking ship; but even if people won't listen, I don't think I can stand people thinking I'm weaponizing my real life identity that I already get stressed out over enough from navigating this absurd world, for character hate. I had to at least say my piece?

...This derailed towards the personal towards the end, and I apologize for that! But thanks again for the asks - they were super thought-provoking and I still had fun answering them, despite everything. Please have a good day! And Happy Halloween!

[artificialqueens]

You Know You Love Me, Chapter 8 (Branjie) - Kiki

A/N: Not it being almost a month since I updated this lmao. Honestly, is anyone being productive right now? (Pls say no to make me feel better lol) I hope everyone is doing good and I hope you enjoy this chapter, just 3 more left until it’s finally finished!

Saturday was Brooke’s favourite day of the week.

She got to wake up whenever she wanted, she didn’t find herself rushing to make it to school on time and she could fill her day with all of the things that made her happy.

She woke up in a good mood since there was no alarm clock blaring at her in the early hours of the morning and she felt at ease. She knew that today was going to be a good day for three reasons; she was able to spend the rest of the morning and afternoon completely relaxing and doing absolutely nothing, there was a big Halloween party happening that night so she would be able to dance and drink and have fun with her friends and, the biggest reason; she got to see Vanessa.

Brooke put her furry slippers on and slowly walked down the stairs of her penthouse apartment and found herself immediately walking over to the coffee machine. Her body was on autopilot as she prepared her first coffee of the day and made a quick breakfast of fruit, yoghurt and granola.

As she walked to the living room with her breakfast, she turned on the TV and sat down on the soft leather couch and wondered exactly what she was going to do today. It was already 12pm (she had definitely slept in for longer than she intended to) and she had to be at Vanessa’s at 3pm to have lunch with the girls and start getting ready for the party. Vanessa wanted Brooke to help her curl her hair and Brooke wanted Akeria’s help with her eye makeup so they all figured it would just be easier to get ready and travel to the party together.

She decided to have Gilmore Girls on in the background (this was probably her fifth time re-watching it) while she scrolled through her phone. After spending a couple of minutes on Twitter and Facebook, she got bored of looking at other people’s social media feeds and was about to put her phone away until she saw it: a Gossip Girl blast entitled “Vanessa Mateo Gets Her Revenge”.

She immediately clicked on the link and saw that the post went up last weekend. She couldn’t believe she missed it for so long, usually she clicked on anything that Gossip Girl put up about her friends straight away, especially since the post that she had put up about Brooke and Vanessa.

Brooke was extremely confused while she read the post. There were pictures of Kameron being escorted away by her parents and…security guards? Brooke had to squint her eyes to focus on the three people in the background and her heart sank when she realised that, yes, it was in fact Vanessa, Akeria and Silky in the background with massive grins on their faces while Kameron was being dragged away.

Brooke scrolled down some more and saw that Gossip Girl had revealed exactly where Kameron’s parents were shipping her off to and Brooke Lynn couldn’t help but feel bad for her old friend. She knew how it felt when your own parents made plans to get rid of you and she couldn’t imagine how angry she would’ve felt if she knew that someone her own age had influenced her parents to make that decision.

Granted, Kameron did deserve some revenge after what she put Vanessa through. But being shipped off to reform school and probably never being able to earn back her parents trust? Brooke thought that was a step too far. Brooke wanted to call Vanessa about what happened but she knew that now probably wasn’t the best time, it would just end in a massive argument where they were both screaming down the phone at each other down. She thought about it some more and came to the conclusion that Akeria would leave out all the important details and would make it seem like it wasn’t that big a deal so that Brooke wouldn’t be angry at Vanessa. Silky was the only one who would want to tell Brooke everything purely because she loved to talk shit about anyone when she had the opportunity to do so.

Brooke grabbed her phone and called Silky, who picked up immediately. Straight away, Brooke demanded to be told exactly what had went down last weekend and Silky was more than happy to fill Brooke in.

“Ooh, Miss Brooke Lynn, I wish you could’ve been there to see the look on Kameron’s face. It was hilarious! And Vanessa was throwing shade and we were all laughing, it was a real good time. Shame the girl had to be literally shipped off for it to happen, but she got what she deserved.” Silky said smugly. Brooke could tell that Silky really didn’t care what happened to Kameron and only added in that last part to sound like a good person but Brooke didn’t have enough time or energy to focus on that bit right now.

She spent the next fifteen minutes drilling Silky with questions. She heard all about how they tried to get Vanessa to plan her revenge but Vanessa had been reluctant at first, how she had finally given in and they had spent hours combing through her social media and how Vanessa had text Kameron off of her phone.

Brooke couldn’t help but feel a bit used. She thought that Vanessa coming over with coffee for her and her mom was a really sweet and genuine gesture but now finding out that it had only been a distraction in one of her crazy revenge plans? Brooke was hurt.

“Brooke? You there?” Silky asked and Brooke realised that she must have zoned out towards the end of the story but she knew most of that from the Gossip Girl blast anyways.

“Yeah, Silk…sorry but I gotta go. See you later.” She promptly hung up and threw her phone to the other side of the couch, wondering what to do next.

—

On the drive over to Vanessa’s apartment, Brooke’s anger grew and grew. She had left her house with good intentions: she was going to go over there and have a civil and mature conversation with Vanessa about what she did and how wrong it was. But the closer the cab got to Vanessa’s street, the more upset Brooke felt. She knew that this probably wouldn’t end well and that they had a party to go to later and would have to at least pretend that they were getting along so that Gossip Girl didn’t write yet another story about them, but right now she didn’t care about any of that. Right now, all she wanted to do was scream.

As soon as the doorman let her in, she walked with a speed she didn’t know she had and found Dorota dusting the dining room table.

“Where is she?” Brooke asked angrily which startled Dorota. She pointed at the staircase with her duster and Brooke ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. She swung the door to Vanessa’s bedroom open and found the brunette laying on her bed in her pyjamas, painting her nails.

“Brookie! Hi!” Vanessa said while jumping up excitedly and running over to give Brooke a hug. Before she could reach her, Brooke’s pushed her back to stop her from getting any closer and Vanessa realised she wasn’t okay. She looked extremely pissed off, anyone with eyes could see that. But there was something else that only Vanessa could recognise because of how well they knew each other. Her green eyes were full of emotion and Vanessa frowned when she realised: Brooke was sad. Not just sad, extremely upset. “B…what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Hmm, I dunno. Maybe the fact that you schemed and planned a freaking revenge attack on Kameron and got her shipped away to a reform school and didn’t tell me about it?” Brooke yelled as she talked and Vanessa was a bit taken aback. Sure, she knew Brooke was gonna be pissed off when she found out what Vanessa had done but she didn’t think she would care this much. Vanessa had to take a moment to recover and plan her next move because she really didn’t know how to reply to Brooke.

“Brooke…are you really that mad about it?” Vanessa asked quietly, wishing that Brooke was just pranking her and she didn’t actually care as much as it looked like she did.

“Are you seriously asking me if I’m mad that you got a girl shipped off to reform school, lied to me about it, told our other friends not to tell me about it, came over to my house to distract me while you stole my phone so you could pull a stupid scheme? Of course I’m mad, Vanessa! How could I not be?” Brooke’s voice was only getting louder and louder as she spoke and Vanessa knew she had fucked up big time.

“I’m sorry…look, B, I know you hate it when I do stuff like this but I can’t just let her get away with doing what she did to me. That’s not how I am. If she can try and ruin my life then why can’t I try and ruin hers?” Vanessa knew she sounded like a child who was getting scolded by her mother but she couldn’t stop herself from saying what she felt.

“Because your life wasn’t ruined, Vanessa, everything ended up fine.”

“No it didn’t! I was upset for so long after what happened and you know that!” Vanessa argued back, her anger levels now rising to match Brooke’s.

“You ended up with family and friends who supported you and no one dared to say a bad thing to you about it. She’s now being shipped off and probably hated by her parents because of this. You always act before you think, it’s like you think there aren’t any consequences to your actions!” Vanessa had to take a step back and try control her emotions after hearing what Brooke said. She didn’t know what she was feeling more; sadness or anger. Was Brooke Lynn really defending Kameron? After everything they had been through? “I just can’t believe you used me like that, Vanessa. I’m used to you tricking other people like that but not me.”

“I’m sorry, B…” Vanessa was willing to forget about Brooke Lynn defending Kameron considering how sad she looked at that moment. She couldn’t focus on being angry when Brooke looked like she was about to cry.

“That’s the thing, though. You’re not sorry. If you were sorry, you’d apologise to Kameron too. Her life is probably ruined now after this. Not to mention the fact that her family life is probably broken now too. You’re really not getting how bad this is, are you?” It was as if Brooke’s entire personality had changed. Two seconds ago she was holding back tears and now she was screaming at the top of her lungs. She knew deep down that she was more upset at how Vanessa had used her as a pawn in her scheme but she was playing it off as anger.

Vanessa’s personality had changed very quickly too. Just a moment ago, she had been willing to get on her knees and beg for Brooke’s forgiveness. She would’ve done anything to make her feel better. But defending Kameron twice? She couldn’t accept that. She was instantly filled with jealousy and although she absolutely hated it and even the thought of acknowledging that jealousy made her feel like shit, she knew she couldn’t ignore it.

“Why are you defending her so much?” Vanessa asked quietly. Brooke looked up and could see by Vanessa’s facial expression that she was pissed.

“What do you mean?” Brooke asked, not wanting to speak before she understood what Vanessa meant.

“I can understand you being mad that I lied to you. That I took your phone and used it behind your back as part of a scheme. I completely get that. But why are you defending her? Why do you keep emphasising how bad it is for her?” Brooke could see where Vanessa was coming from but she knew she was being irrational. This was supposed to be about Brooke being mad. Vanessa didn’t get to be mad too. That wasn’t fair. “Did you go yell at her after what she did to me? I’m pretty sure you didn’t. So why the hell are you so angry about what I did to her? Was she your little side chick or something? Are you mad I got your side bitch locked away?” Vanessa was fuming at this point and Brooke knew that this was going to end in a disastrous way.

“You cannot be serious right now Vanessa.” Brooke said sternly. “You seriously cannot be accusing me of sleeping with Kameron after I told you about what happened between me and her in the past.”

“Then why are you so pressed about it?” Vanessa asked with her eyebrows raised and a hand on her hip.

“Because it’s wrong, V! It’s such a shitty thing to do. I can understand Kameron doing shitty things but not you. You’re supposed to be my Vanessa. The one with a heart of gold. This isn’t you.”

“But you’re defending her! You’re on her side!” Vanessa yelled, angry tears forming in her eyes as she tried her best not to let them spill.

“No I’m not, V, there aren’t any sides here! I just want you to take some fucking responsibility for what you’ve done!”

“I’m fucking sorry, Brooke! I’m so sorry that I hurt you! But you’re literally picking her over me and I can’t accept that.” Vanessa’s tears slowly rolled down her cheeks and Brooke wanted nothing more than to wipe them away and kiss her better but she held herself back.

“I’m not picking anyone, Vanessa, seriously.” Brooke rolled her eyes at how Vanessa was acting whilst Vanessa’s heart was breaking.

“You seriously wouldn’t pick my side over hers?” Vanessa whispered softly, looking Brooke directly in her eyes.

“I swear to God, Vanessa, for the last time: I’M NOT PICKING ANY SIDES!” Brooke couldn’t contain herself anymore. She felt like a volcano that had been due to erupt for a long time now.

“You’re supposed to pick me. You’re supposed to support me if someone does something bad to me, not defend the other person.” Vanessa was full on sobbing at this point, she couldn’t contain it.

“I can’t support you doing things like that. I just can’t.”

“That’s fine, but why do you have to defend her like that…it’s like you don’t even care how I felt, you just wanna make me feel bad for getting revenge on someone.”

“I do wanna make you feel bad, Vanessa, what you did was awful.” Brooke knew that she was being harsh. She knew that Vanessa was in her feelings right now and that she wouldn’t be okay with the things that Brooke was saying but she had to get them out. She couldn’t control it.

“Can you leave please? I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.” Vanessa mumbled as she wiped her eyes. She was so thankful that she skipped her makeup routine that morning otherwise she would’ve had mascara smeared all down her face.

“No, Vanessa, you need to grow up and deal with the consequences of what you’ve done.”

“Brooke, I’m so sorry about what I did to you. I feel so guilty about lying to you like that. But I won’t apologise for what I did to her. I just can’t.”

“I don’t think I can see you the same way as I used to then, V…” Brooke replied and Vanessa was coming to terms that whatever she had with Brooke was probably over by now.

“I knew this was too good to be true…” Vanessa whispered.

“What are you talking about?” Brooke asked out of frustration.

“You and me…we could never be together. It was too good to be true.” Brooke was shocked at Vanessa’s statement. She kind of just assumed they would work through this like they worked through everything else, but it didn’t seem like Vanessa had come to that same conclusion.

“V, stop…don’t say that.”

“No, it’s true. Because I can’t be with someone who defends someone who has wronged me and not only that, tries to act like they’re on some fucking moral high ground when I do something wrong. Newsflash, Brooke, everybody makes mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Are you really gonna act like you haven’t done and said some stupid shit in your life? Because I could probably list twenty things you’ve done if you want me to. But I’m not about to take this kinda scrutiny from you. It’s not okay. I’m not having you fucking roast me this hard every time I fuck up.”

“Well I’m not gonna let you get away with being a manipulative bitch and act like what you do doesn’t affect people.” Vanessa’s face immediately hardened and that was when Brooke knew that they had both taken it too far. To the point of no return. Vanessa took a deep breath in, told her to get the fuck out of her house, and stormed off into her bathroom and locked the door.

Brooke stood there stunned for a minute not knowing what she should do. But as soon as she thought about the things Vanessa had said again, anger was the only thing she could focus on and she stormed out of her bedroom and down the stairs. It was only when she got to the living room that she realised leaving would probably be the worst mistake of her entire life. She quietly walked back up the stairs and opened the door to Vanessa’s room as quietly as she could and what she heard broke her heart. Vanessa was openly sobbing as if someone had died. Brooke felt the anger leave her body all at once, as if it was never there. She walked over to the bathroom and sat on the floor, leaning against the locked door with Vanessa on the other side of it.

“V?” Brooke called out, hoping that Vanessa responded.

“Go away.” Vanessa sounded like she had a cold, her nose was all sniffly and her voice was hoarse from crying.

“Nessa, please…open the door.” Brooke begged, wanting nothing more than to hold the smaller girl in her arms. Vanessa didn’t reply so Brooke came to terms with the fact that she was going to be doing most of the talking for the moment.

“Listen, V…I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to put it into words how sorry I am, I completely overreacted and I shouldn’t have done. I’m so so so sorry Vanessa.” Brooke had a hard time keeping her tears in but she knew that there had to be at least one of them not crying for this conversation to go successfully. All of a sudden, the bathroom door opened and Brooke was met with a puffy eyed Vanessa. She stood up and followed Vanessa over to her bed where they sat down. Vanessa immediately wrapped herself in her pink blanket, gently wiping her eyes with the corner of it.

“You didn’t overreact, B. What I did was dumb and I know that.” Vanessa admitted and Brooke knew that they were on a good path to recovery here, especially if Vanessa was admitting that she was wrong so quickly into the conversation.

“That doesn’t mean I should treat you like I did. I think I was just hurt that you lied to me and instead of dealing with that, I focused on the anger part because it’s easier to deal with.” Brooke smiled weakly and put her hand on Vanessa’s knee, stroking it gently. “I’m so sorry I let it go that far. I think I need to work on controlling my anger a bit.” Vanessa laughed softly at what Brooke had said.

“I’m sorry too, Brooke. I know what I did was wrong. I promise to stop meddling in people’s lives from now on…especially yours. I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you what I was doing and that I lied to you. It won’t ever happen again I promise.” Vanessa put her hand on top of Brooke’s hand on her knee and squeezed it gently. “Am I forgiven?” Brooke nodded and climbed up to be beside her on the bed.

“Am I?” Brooke asked as she wrapped her arms around Vanessa from behind and Vanessa nodded slowly, turning her head around slightly so she could see Brooke’s face. Brooke gently grabbed Vanessa’s chin and moved her face up before connecting their lips together and both girls shared a sigh of relief that they were on good terms again. Even though the fight was short, Vanessa was sure it was the worst she had felt in a long time, even worse than when Kameron had outed her.

The two of them knew that they still had a lot of issues to overcome but right now, all they wanted to do was focus on kissing each other…and they did. For about an hour. The only reason they stopped was because Silky and Akeria arrived to get ready for Halloween, otherwise they probably would’ve been there all night.

The girls spent their time doing their makeup and hair and finalising their costumes, listening to music and talking and overall, having a great time. Brooke had missed nights like this when she was in boarding school and spending time with all of her friends made her so grateful to be back. She couldn’t wait for the night ahead.

—

The girls arrived to the club that was hosting their school’s annual Halloween party in the black limo that Brooke had ordered and they were bursting with excitement. They had drunk numerous glasses of champagne on the short drive there and they were ready to have an amazing night.

Brooke had decided to dress up as Marilyn Monroe, her hair curled short to recreate Marilyn’s iconic waves. Vanessa had been speechless when she saw Brooke in the short dress but she had to force herself to refrain from doing anything for the sake of Akeria and Silky. Akeria had dressed up as a cheerleader simply because she was mad that their school didn’t have a cheer team and she thought it was a shame that everybody hadn’t seen her in a cheer outfit. Silky was dressed up as a Roman Goddess (Vanessa had been extremely confused as to how she was going to pull that off but she decided not to question it) and the costume consisted of a white bedsheet that she had wrapped around her body and strategically pinned in place. She was hoping that by the end of the night, the sheet would be gone and she’d be in someone’s bed and had told everyone proudly that the costume was worn for “easy access” only. Vanessa had decided to dress up as a salsa dancer and got her mom to design a super short red sparkly dress for her. It fit her like a glove and she had her hair down curled to perfection (with Brooke’s help) and she felt amazing. Brooke couldn’t stop staring at her ass and her legs because they looked so phenomenal in that outfit.

Brooke and Vanessa walked into the party hand in hand and absolutely everybody had their eyes on them. It was like royalty had just walked in. People parted to make way for them all whilst staring at them intensely.

Brooke gently squeezed Vanessa’s hand in reassurance as the group of four found the booth reserved for them and quickly ordered a round of drinks for their table. Brooke worried that Vanessa would start to feel anxious or upset with everybody’s eyes on the two of them but if she was, she wasn’t showing it. Akeria locked eyes with Vanessa and Vanessa nodded reassuringly, letting the group know that she was okay. They downed a shot of tequila each and quickly hit the dancefloor.

Usually, Vanessa would be all over her friends while dancing at a party like this. She remembered the party that happened the night before Brooke left for boarding school and how they had danced and grinded up on each other pretty much all night, but things were different now. Now, people knew her secret and they were definitely watching her to see what they would do.

Brooke could tell Vanessa was overthinking things as they were dancing. She was trying to appear normal but she was definitely focusing her energy on dancing with Akeria instead of with Brooke.

Vanessa wanted nothing more than to dance with Brooke and be all over her but there was something holding her back from doing it. She felt like a ten-year-old girl who was too afraid to tell her crush that she liked them. It was pathetic. She absolutely hated how she wasn’t feeling like her confident self. On any other day, she would walk through the halls of her high school with the exact same people that were in this club with her right now and not give a crap what they thought about her. She was trying her hardest to bring that confidence back to herself but it just wasn’t working.

She looked over to Brooke who was dancing and joking around with Silky. When Brooke saw Vanessa staring, she gave her a small smile and a discrete wink which made Vanessa smile in return. Brooke was the one who made her feel like she could conquer the world without even saying anything.

She was instantly brought back to what Brooke had said to her that night she had planned to run away: “You’re a Mateo, remember? People don’t tell you who you are, you tell them.”

“Fuck it.” Vanessa thought as she walked over to Brooke, grabbed her face and kissed her slowly. She could almost feel people’s eyes piercing into her (and also could hear Silky screaming loudly with pride) but she decided that she didn’t care. At the end of the day, she was the most popular girl in school for a reason and kissing Brooke wasn’t going to change that. When Vanessa pulled away, she could see Brooke was stunned.

“Wow…um, I wasn’t expecting that.” Brooke said, clearly flustered from the unexpected kiss. Vanessa giggled in response and went back to the other two girls and continued dancing with them. She felt so much better now that she didn’t have to restrain herself. She could confidently dance with Brooke and make everyone jealous that she was able to make out with the hottest girl at the party.

After a while, the DJ announced that he was going to play a song for all the couples and as soon as the slow song started playing, Brooke held out her hand to Vanessa.

“Ness, may I have this dance?” Brooke asked sarcastically and Vanessa accepted immediately (of course). Vanessa, being an absolute hopeless romantic, was dying on the inside. She felt like she was starring in her own romance movie and she loved how it was going. They spent the next few minutes wrapped in each other’s arms, swaying gently to the music.

Both of them were so happy that, even though the day had been eventful to say the least, it had still ended so perfectly.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Bedside Stories ch.4 (baon)

Summary: Stretch is on a quest and just because it’s on a bus and not a steed, doesn’t mean it’s not noble.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationships, Domestic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury,

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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CH1 | CH2 | CH3

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Read it on AO3

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Read it here!

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When Stretch jerked awake his first panicked thought was that he’d missed his stop. But no, the Embassy dropoff was coming up next, looming up through the bus windshield. Guess he had some latent directional sense buried in one of the dusty corners of his psyche.

Not like he’d meant to fall asleep, but Edge’s insomnia seemed to be contagious. He’d started out the ride browsing on twitter, trying to think of something noncommittal to say that also wasn’t too lighthearted, given what was blaring about Monsters lately on Fox news.

He'd been strictly forbidden from discussing anything surrounding the bombings with his followers and normally restrictions like that made him bristle, his nonexistent nerves going full porcupine. In this instance, he’d only meekly agreed, but that didn’t keep his followers from doing their math. No Humans actually knew how few skeleton Monsters there were, but then, most Monster species were a little on the sparse side. Some clever bloggers had linked pictures of Edge’s boots from Stretch’s twitter to the shots the press released of the bombing aftermath. Stretch hadn’t looked at those pictures too closely, but he’d seen the zoomed in shots with the boots circled with Microsoft paint.

Without him saying a word, it was suddenly an ill-kept secret that his husband was hurt and the messages were pouring in, asking for confirmation, offering condolences, donations, even sending prayers which was weird, but sorta kind. Sorta.

Twitter was less a distraction and more an unwanted obligation this week, and he’d finally put his phone away. He wasn’t the only Monster on board, not on a bus route that went past the Embassy. At this time of day, there weren’t many others. They’d offered smiles and murmured greetings, then pretty much left him alone.

That was fine by him. But with no one to chat to, he must’ve drifted off and it was nice to see he’d managed to scrape together enough good luck not to end up all the way downtown. Hopefully, he had enough leftover to take him to the end of this mission.

He was still a little bleary as he got off the bus. The sight of the protesters lining the sidewalk, all bundled up and sitting in their lawn chairs with their signs woke him up pretty damn quick. Eh, shit, he’d promised Edge he’d teleport right into the lobby, but he hadn’t called ahead and popping in when they were under high alert seemed like a poor life choice. Instead, he shortcutted to the front door, hey, he was following the spirit of the promise which was to keep safe and scaring the shit out of the security guard wasn’t it.

The guard on duty didn’t much look like he’d be surprised if Stretch shortcutted in on his lap. Murray was a huge, hulking Monster, with curling horns and a thirst for crosswords. He barely looked up at his current one, mumbling a greeting as Stretch swiped his card to push through the turnstile. He’d done pretty much the same thing every time Stretch stopped in, including when he’d shown up in just a bed sheet. There was one Monster who wasn’t worried about current events, almost had to admire that kind of skill in blatantly ignoring a crisis.

Stretch stepped into the elevator alone and pushed the button, vaguely humming the theme song to ‘Mission Impossible’. Not that it was, but eh, life could use a soundtrack from time to time.

It was too damn bad he didn’t have time to visit Andy while he was here; he hadn’t even seen his office yet and was planning to get him something for his desk. Maybe a Newton’s cradle, that seemed traditional, but a Nerf gun was a good way to build a community. He made a mental promise to come visit Edge for lunch someday and stop in bearing gifts.

The elevator dinged and Stretch got off, heading down the hallway. He’d only been here a couple of times, but he knew right where he was going.

The slim Monster sitting at the desk looked up as he came in, his cheery smile fading into something a little more forced. Asgore’s assistant, Kevin, was probably an okay guy, but none-too-fond of Stretch’s approach where his boss was concerned and Stretch was never exactly excited to spend any time with Asgore’s biggest fan. “Can I help you?”

“yeah. is ass-gore in or is he busy glad-handing his way down the hallways.” Really, Stretch couldn’t fathom why Kevin didn’t like him.

That forced smile iced over. “I beg your pardon.”

Slowly and deliberately, Stretch said, “is. asgore. in.”

“I’m afraid he’s not taking appointments today.” If Kevin got any colder, he’d be spitting ice chips across his desk and mess up all that important paperwork.

Stretch gave him a thin smile. “look we both know i’m in your office as a courtesy, so let’s go ahead and keep it courteous, yeah? i don’t want to play dodge-ums today after i scaring the shit out of him popping in, and he could probably do without any fresh surprises.”

He was pretty sure he was about to be told in very polite and courteous language to get fucked with the intercom crackled, Asgore’s voice booming over the line.

“Let him in.”

It was probably petty to smirk smugly at Kevin as he walked past him. It definitely was to give him a little backhanded finger-waggle of a wave. But eh, it served his purpose to use up a little of his distaste before he stepped into the office where Asgore was waiting behind the desk.

He started to rise and Stretch could almost feel the cheerfully ‘Howdy’ start to vibrate in the air before he choked it back to a more sedate, “Good afternoon, Stretch, won’t you sit down?”

Asgore gestured to a large, overstuffed sofa and Stretch almost said no, less out of ingrained spitefulness and more because he was agitated, already fidgeting with his lighter as he took a seat.

He waited while Asgore did the same, settling across from him in a chair that’d probably had to be specially made. Not many Humans hit Boss Monster sizes and those that did probably wished for a shorter inseam. It was hard enough for Stretch to find pants.

Asgore laced his hands comfortably over his belly and asked, “What can I do for you?”

“i need a favor,” Stretch said bluntly, ignoring Asgore’s visible surprise. He didn’t much have the time or inclination to draw this out, “i need you to let edge come back to work.”

The surprise on Asgore’s expression only deepened, leaving him distinctly taken aback, his furry caterpillar eyebrows drawn downward. Yeah, Stretch got that; him not only asking for a favor but for THAT favor was worth some eyebrow gymnastics.

“You want him back to work,” Asgore repeated slowly.

“i don’t actually, not really, but he needs to come back.”

“Is everything all right?” Asgore asked delicately. Looking into his concerned face was making his anxiety give the mambo a try; Stretch didn’t want to discuss Edge with Asgore, not as his King, his boss, or that fatherly role that he tried so hard to step into. He looked past him instead, at the picture on the wall between two bookcases. A painting, not a very good one, but recognizably of golden flowers. They didn’t transplant well from the Underground, a lot of Monsters mourned easy access to their favorite tea and Stretch wondered if Asgore had painted it. Maybe Frisk, the kid was fond of their adopted dad and--

Asgore was nothing if not polite and didn’t say anything while Stretch woolgathered long enough for enough yarn to make to make a sweater.

Shit or get off the pot was one of Red’s favorite idioms, not one of Stretch’s faves and kinda ironic considering that none of them had asses, but sometimes it was the truth. “i know you think you’re doing him a favor but you’re not. he’s stuck at home on our sofa, he can’t go running, can’t clean, can’t even cook, and he’s being forced to watch all this shit go down from the buzzfeed angle. you can’t take away his reason for living like this.”

The chair creaked ominously as Asgore shifted his weight. “I’d like to hope his job isn’t his reason for living.”

“it’s not the job. it’s helping people. he needs to help people,” Stretch took a deep breath, he was doing a shit job explaining this and Asgore didn’t look very convinced. “look, i know depressed, okay, and he’s verging on it. you have to give him something. i know him, better than you, better than anyone. he’s been glued to the boob tube all week, writing notes, making plans. let him help a little, it’ll calm all those protective instincts down if he thinks he’s helping.”

At least Asgore seemed to consider that. He propped his head up on a hand the size of a meatloaf. Or a chicken. “He hasn’t scheduled his mental health assessment yet.”

“i know. skip it for now, he’ll get it done later.”

Asgore frowned, his face creasing with concern. “The assessment is for his own good. It’s not simply bureaucratic nonsense, it is for his well being.”

Stretch was already nodding, absently noting the click-click-click of his lighter weaving in and out through his fingers. “i get that, i do. can you trust my assessment? look, i’ll get him into the head shrinker if that’s what you want, but don’t make his job conditional on it. i’m a big proponent of mental health care and i’ve got vested reasons for making sure he’s doing okay. but he needs this.”

Asgore was obviously thinking hard, looking at nothing over his steepled fingers, but Stretch wasn’t sure which side of the teeter-totter he was gonna come down on. Being able to read people’s intent and souls was a skill Stretch still had, but he was hella out of practice and didn’t really want to train back up.

“All right,” Asgore said at last. “On three conditions.”

“three!”

He spread his large hands. “This is not a small favor.”

Stretch sighed and slumped back. He wasn’t wrong and Stretch knew from personal experience that when Asgore had you by the balls, he knew how to give ‘em a good, firm twist. It was kinda chuckilicious, really. “start talking.”

“First, I tell him it’s my idea.”

“why?” Stretch said immediately. He had an inkling, but better to not take anything for granted.

Asgore was ready for him. “Because he will appreciate my trust in him and his skills, and because he will not appreciate you interfering like this. Am I wrong?”

He wasn’t. “deal.”

“Second, you promise me that you’ll get him in for that assessment. I’ll give you until the end of the month, but if it hasn’t been done, I‘ll suspend him.”

“promise.” There was a sour taste on the back of his tongue as he waited for the last ticky box.

“And last, you shake my hand.”

“what?” That one got him sitting forward, sputtering out, “why?”

“Because you’re asking a favor,” Asgore said serenely. He laced his hands over his soft middle again. “And those are my terms.”

Stretch glared hotly at him, but Asgore was unperturbed. Probably had lots of people scarier that Stretch giving him the ol’ death glare.

Welp, it was hardly the worst thing he’d ever done.

Stretch held out his hand and Asgore leaned forward to take it.

The loud whirr of the joybuzzer made Asgore jump and jerk his hand back, but he only laughed heartily, slapping his knees as he rose. “All right, I’ll have his access restored by this evening. I trust you’ll keep him from overdoing it?”

“yeah, i got it,” Stretch stood hastily and tucked the joy buzzer back into his pocket. He resisted the urge to scrub his hand on his pants. Asgore would take it wrong and he wasn’t that much of a dick, even if that furry palm made his bones tickle something fierce. He headed for the door, relief already seeping in. “thanks.”

“Stretch?” he paused, his hand on the doorknob. “I’m glad you came to me.”

“don’t make this into some bonding moment, okay?” Stretch gave him a side eye. “it’s not like i had a lot of other people to ask.”

Asgore’s smile twisted wryly. “Of course. Be careful on your ride home.”

Stretch didn’t say, ‘thanks, grandma’, but it was a close thing.

Simply walking past the daggers Kevin was glaring at him was exhausting and the second he was out of the office, Stretch shortcutted down to the elevators.

In no time he was safely back on the bus, slumped down. He was ready for another nap, but there wasn’t time for that. The main story line on his adventure was was done, but he still had a side quest to finish.

He opened an app on his phone and tapped in an order, and by the time the bus trundled to a halt at the bus stop outside the Golden City, it was waiting for him with one of their drivers, bundled into a warm jacket with the goods in hand. The young man who handed in the bag filled with cartons of yumminess only grinned at him, but he took the hefty tip Stretch offered without complaint.

Stretch plopped the heavy bag on the seat next to him and slumped back again, “home, jeeves,” Stretch mumbled to nobody and he hoped if he zonked out again one of the other Monsters on the bus would be kind enough to give him a nudge.

By the time he walked through his front door again, feeling worn and jelly-wobbly , Edge was awake and dressed, with an opened book in his hands.

“hey, babe,” Stretch called, kicking off his shoes and leaving them piled on the mat. “sorry i ditched on you, but my cooking skills have been tested to their limit and it’s a little late to hire gordon ramsey for the night.”

“Yes, I saw your note.” He set the book aside and his warm smile was like an infusion, easing some of Stretch’s weariness. “What treasures did you bring us from the shores of Ebott?”

“arr, matey,” Stretch laughed. “except i didn���t get any fish. hope chinese sounds good.”

“Golden City?” Edge said slowly and something in his voice made Stretch hesitate.

Shit.

They hadn’t been back there together since the whole thing with Andy. Stretch hadn’t even thought about that in a while, he’d gone over it with his therapist and that’d been crap, but honestly, he liked to put that one into the win category. Andy was okay and had a new job, the shitbags were in jail, and public opinion ended up on their side. Plus, he wasn’t about to let any assholes ruin Chinese food for him, thanks, but Edge didn’t look like he’d gotten that memo.

Stretch’d gone back on his own a couple times for the lunch special, had he ever mentioned that to Edge? He couldn’t remember, he hadn’t been hiding it or anything, it just never came up. Until now, and the last thing he wanted to do was get Edge to relive any other shitty event highlights.

“yeah, um,” Stretch forced cheer into his voice. “i had them bring the takeout bags to the bus stop, saved myself a walk.”

Whatever Edge was thinking in that head of his, he didn’t let it out to play. He only nodded, looking back at his book as he said, “Clever. It does sound good.”

“great!” Stretch said brightly, maybe not a firework, but he could try for a sparkler. “i’ll go get some plates.” With dismal humor, he thought that if he injected in any more manic cheer, he’d start to sound like his bro. He set the bags down on the coffee table next to the pile of pillows and headed for the kitchen, since Edge had very strong opinions on eating out of cartons that he wasn’t shy about sharing.

By the time they were settled in with their plates, whatever concerns Edge had about Stretch revisiting the scene of a crime, as it were, seemed to have been banished. He ate hungrily and that alone was a relief. He’d been picking at his meals for the past day or so and Stretch didn’t think his cooking was entirely to blame. Just added data to his hypothesis that with proper application, sex was a cure for many ills. Worked for him, anyway.

Halfway through the last carton of chop suey, Edge’s phone pinged. Stretch kept his attention on his plate, slurping up noodles with an impressive amount of noise for someone who lacked lips. Out of the corner of his socket he saw Edge frowning at the message.

“Asgore is restoring my Embassy access,” Edge said slowly. “He said that with everything that’s happening, they need my assistance, and he’s asking that I work half days for the rest of the week.”

Okay, here was where he put his acting skills to the test and if he couldn’t go for an Oscar, he at least needed a Golden Globe.

Stretch worked up what he hoped was the proper amount of indignant anger and said, “seriously? you got one week off to recover from almost getting blown up and ass-gore can’t even give you that?” And before Edge could say anything, he threw his hand up, dumping his empty plate on the coffee table hard enough for his fork to clatter. “you know what? never mind. go ahead, help out, at least it’ll be for a good cause and not him using you as an extra security guard.”

“No,” Edge set his phone aside, “I’m not doing it.”

Um, what? “what?” Stretch said blankly, fuck, he was going to get a razzy with this performance, must’ve chewed the scenery too hard.

“No. I was thinking while you were gone and I’ve been acting appallingly since we got home. I’ve been sulking like a child while you’ve been trying so hard to care for me.” He touched Stretch’s cheek bone gently, his glove velvety soft as he ran his thumb across it. “Considering how things were between us when I left for California, I think I need to focus more on you than paperwork.”

Well, this was some modern-day gift of the magi shit, now wasn’t it? Last week he would have been thrilled to hear this and now that he’d made a special trip and begged for favors he was getting hoisted by his own fibbing petard.

Okay, nope, his hard work was not going to be in vain, damn it, this chapter of his life was going to end with happiness and accolades all around. Edge might be the strategy guy, but Stretch wasn’t half-bad on the fly, and his plans might be a little loose, or chaotic as Edge put it, but he could plan.

First, he gave Edge a kiss, made sure to linger, made it sweet, soft, trying to pour his love into it, until he was almost distracted himself.

Next step, bullshit.

He leaned back, cupping Edge’s face in his hands and gave him the best smile he had left on the shelf. “that’s really sweet, babe, but how about a compromise? you can spend a couple hours in the afternoon working while i take a nap. that’ll let you get all your ‘save the world’ energy out in time for dinner, yeah?”

Ooh, might have a winner here. Edge was visibly wavering, probably thinking of all the luscious paperwork he could get through in a couple of hours. Time to go for the throat, “beside, janice is probably going nuts without you. if you help out, maybe she’ll be able to get home in time to see her kiddos before bedtime.”

Direct hit, winner winner, no chicken for dinner, “That...would be helpful, yes.” Edge gave him another toe-curling, shivery kiss before he murmured, “Promise me that you don’t mind?”

Stretch twitched back, grimacing. He’d been making an awful lot of promises lately. “i promise.”

He stood up to clear away the plates and leftovers, and by the time he got back, Edge already had his laptop out and was typing away. Stretch was about to put a movie on and let him work, but before he could even steal the remote, Edge said, “My access is also conditional on my getting that assessment.”

Um, wow, okay, they were actually talking about this? Cautiously, Stretch offered, “i take it you’re not a big fan of the idea.”

He tried to say it as neutrally as he could, but Edge set his laptop on the side table and took his hand, tugging him down into his lap. Stretch settled gingerly, watching his husband’s face carefully for any hint of discomfort. There was none, and he let Edge tuck his head against his shoulder, his hand smoothing down Stretch’s back.

“Stretch, i don’t mean to imply that there is anything wrong with therapy or that it’s somehow beneath me. I’m not that much of a hypocrite and I can see that it’s been helping you,” Edge hesitated and Stretch held his breath, remembering when Edge told him it was easier to talk sometimes if Stretch wasn’t looking at him. He kept his head down, snuggling into Edge in what he hoped was an encouraging way. “My issue is that it’s difficult for me to open up to anyone and this is a colleague. I see them in the hallways, in the cafeteria. I’m struggling with the idea of answering the kind of questions they might ask me.”

“okay,” Stretch said slowly. “so see someone else?”

Edge jerked and when Stretch lifted his head, he looked so surprised that Stretch couldn’t help smiling. Trust his baby to be looking for the answer to a complex puzzle when the easiest route was staring him in the face.

“i could talk to my therapist?” Stretch offered. “see if she could recommend someone.”

“A Human.”

“yeah, probably. would that be a problem?”

“I..no,” Edge said slowly. “No, I think that would be better. Perhaps I should simply talk with your therapist, I already know her and she’s done well for you and Sans.”

That made him feel a little squirmy inside; he told things to Doctor Lee that he’d never told anyone, not his own brother, not Edge. It was only an assessment, not like a weekly commitment, but--

“can i think about it?”

“Of course.” No concern, no anger, only another gentle kiss. He slipped off Edge’s lap before they got carried away, no double-dipping on afternoon delights while anyone had a cast. Stretch settled down on the sofa, the top of his skull leaning on Edge’s femur, and flicked a movie on, the volume low and subtitles running. Edge was typing away on his laptop, but occasionally a hand would stroke over his skull, helping to lull him to sleep.

Stretch couldn’t say how long he lay there drowsing, and he murmured a faint protest when Edge eventually pulled away and stood.

“I’m only getting a drink, love and I need to work out the kinks.”

“i can help you with any kink, make a list,” Stretch mumbled.

An amused sound close to his skull and a rough kiss pressed on top of it. “We’ll try that when I’m back on two feet.”

Vaguely, he heard Edge crutch his way to the kitchen, the door swinging open then shut, listening to the faint murmur of the television. The sudden crash was almost deafening, even through the kitchen door, jolting Stretch awake. Before he could do more than look around wildly, Edge called his name, and fuck, fuck, he’d never heard Edge like that, called his name, no, no, he yelled it, screamed it. Not hurt, no, he sounded scared when had Edge ever sounded scared?

Before he shortcutted into the kitchen, his magic running hot, ready to deal with what the fuck ever dared come to their house, his last darkly amused thought was that he shouldn’t have used all his good luck that afternoon.

-tbc-

Check me out on AO3  | I’m also on twitter

[indierockandroll]

Answer all the cute questions because you're all the cute

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Link

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? I dunno... Link. He’s downstairs. 4. Are you easy to get along with? Probably not. 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Maybe 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Cats 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Link 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My boss. 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Me too.” 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? El Farol by Santana, Miracle Aligner by The Last Shadow Puppets, It’s Alright by Mother Mother, Tu es ma came by Carla Bruni, Tightrope by LP, and that is five. 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Depends. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? No. 15. What good thing happened this summer? Summer starts tomorrow. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? My mom? I guess. 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I hope so. 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No. 19. Do you like bubble baths? fuck yes 20. Do you like your neighbors? No 21. What are you bad habits? Ordering coffee from GrubHub for like $18 just to get it delivered to work. 22. Where would you like to travel? London, England. 23. Do you have trust issues? Yes 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Snuggling with the cats. 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My legs. 26. What do you do when you wake up? Snooze the alarm. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Lighter 28. Who are you most comfortable around? My mom 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yes 30. Do you ever want to get married? I don’t know 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? James Mercer, Billy Joel, Beyonce, uhh there is a list. 33. Spell your name with your chin. mkjoityghyswedjh 34. Do you play sports? What sports? No 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes 37. What do you say during awkward silences? nothing, I keep them awkward silences. 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Sweet, likes sticks and rolling in the grass, loves long walks, enjoys watching birds and cars and barks and is named Link and is furry. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Grocery ones. 40. What do you want to do after high school? ????? I am doing after high school now. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? No. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m happy? 43. Do you smile at strangers? Yes 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Space 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Work 46. What are you paranoid about? Being disliked 47. Have you ever been high? Yes 48. Have you ever been drunk? Yes 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not particularly 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Purple 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Every day 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My insanity 53. Favourite makeup brand? Bare Minerals 54. Favourite store? Wegmans 55. Favourite blog? TBD 56. Favourite colour? Purple 57. Favourite food? Tofu and rice 58. Last thing you ate? Tofu and rice 59. First thing you ate this morning? Tofu and rice, at 4pm 60. Ever won a competition? For what? Baking/cake decorating 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No 62. Been arrested? For what? No 63. Ever been in love? yes 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I was 14 65. Are you hungry right now? No, i want beer 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? No I don’t have tumblr friends :( 67. Facebook or Twitter? Neither 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr 69. Are you watching tv right now? No 70. Names of your bestfriends? Amanda, Erinn, Julie 71. Craving something? What? Beer 72. What colour are your towels? All kinds of colours 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Three 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Not anymore 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? a lOT 75. Favourite animal? Cat 76. What colour is your underwear? Gold 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? I like mint chip 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Light turquoise 80. What colour pants?  Black with white constellations 81. Favourite tv show? ATM Good Omens was a topper 82. Favourite movie? V for Vendetta 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls  84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Damian 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Bubbles maybe 87. First person you talked to today? Mom 88. Last person you talked to today? mom 89. Name a person you hate? I don’t hate anyone 90. Name a person you love? I love my cats 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Yes 92. In a fight with someone? No 93. How many sweatpants do you have? A lot 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? A lot 95. Last movie you watched? Restraint 96. Favourite actress? Margot Robbie is nice, I like her and I like Inbar Lavi 97. Favourite actor? Hugo Weaving, Keanu Reeves, Tom Hiddleston, David Tennant 98. Do you tan a lot? No 99. Have any pets? Yes 100. How are you feeling? uncertain 101. Do you type fast? Yes 102. Do you regret anything from your past? Some things 103. Can you spell well? Yes 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Probably 107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes 108. What should you be doing? All kinds of things 109. Is something irritating you right now?Yes 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes 111. Do you have trust issues? Yes 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My cat 113. What was your childhood nickname? Morgie 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes 115. Do you play the Wii? Not anymore 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? No, vegan. 118. Do you like Chinese food? YES GIMME THAT SHIT 119. Favourite book? I don’t even know anymore 120. Are you afraid of the dark? A bit 121. Are you mean? I try not to be 122. Is cheating ever okay? No. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I TRY 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No 125. Do you believe in true love? No 126. Are you currently bored? No 127. What makes you happy? Nothing 128. Would you change your name? Yes 129. What your zodiac sign? Gemini 130. Do you like subway? Yes? 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Kill him 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My... boss... 133. Favourite lyrics right now? “It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay, you’re not a monster, you’re a human, and you’ve made a few mistakes.” 134. Can you count to one million? Yeah 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Dunno? 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Open  137. How tall are you? a few above 5 138. Curly or Straight hair? I have both 139. Brunette or Blonde? I have reddish brown 140. Summer or Winter? Winter 141. Night or Day? night 142. Favourite month? May 143. Are you a vegetarian? Yes, vegan. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark 145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee 146. Was today a good day? Not a terribly bad one 147. Mars or Snickers? Neither 148. What’s your favourite quote? Unsure 149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? No books nearby, all downstairs.

[annoyingdogsong]

super unpopular opinion time!

look, i’m very aware that i’m probably going to get a lot of hate for this, but at this point i’m just kinda. y’know. sick and tired of everything surrounding this.

but uh. here we go.

tiktok isn’t that bad of a social media platform.

and, yes, i get it. y’all are upset that vine eradicated itself but musical.ly was brought back almost immediately. jacob sartorius became famous. annoying children are being annoying. i’m upset about all these things too, trust me.

but um. i’d like to request that people stop claiming it’s the worst social media platform ever, because it’s not.

let me explain.

i’ve been using it for about a month now and it’s genuinely made me happy. there are good people on there, and it gives small cosplayers like myself a platform to share said cosplays on without having to go to a con or anything along those lines. it gives artists who are unable to animate things or make animatics because they don’t have art tablets a chance to do so, even if their videos are shorter than the average animation/animatic. people can get creative with what they do and, yes, all the memes coming from it are quite amazing, i’ll be honest.

yes, there are bad people on there, i know. homophobia and transphobia are prominent, furries constantly get harassed, and so do children just trying to have fun with a dumb lip syncing app. there are a lot of annoying white girls who think their looks alone will make them good actresses. i get it.

but that’s how most social media platforms are anyway.

let’s take twitter as an example: homophobia and transphobia? check. furries constantly getting harassed? check. children getting harassed for having fun? check. annoying white girls? hell fucking yes. check.

but you don’t see people complaining about twitter too much, do you?

there aren’t hour long compilations of “cringey” twitter posts that are way too prominent and highkey annoying.

no, i’m not very educated on this type of thing and if you dislike tiktok, good for you. i won’t say you’re a bad person because you aren’t. it’s just the popular thing to hate right now and if you have a genuine reason to hate it then you’re valid. but can all these stupid “cringe compliations” and videos complaining about tiktok stop please? it’s honestly way more annoying than the children on tiktok at this point and i’d like it if people actually stopped making fun of it when there are worse things out there than people having fun with a dumb lip-syncing app.

yes, it’s good to call out bad people. but just like with fandoms, you shouldn’t generalize it. call out the specific people that are bad and don’t automatically say “all tiktok users are cringey” or something along those lines, because doing that doesn’t help anyone. at all.

thanks for reading all of this, and if you disagree with me, that’s fine. constructive arguing is fine. but if any hate or anything along those lines gets sent to me in my inbox you’ll be blocked. i’m doing this for the sake of my own mental health.

thank you.

[itslordberkutthings]

So it all starts in the early 90’s when a young autistic kid win a promotion from Sega for a shopping spree, and the media focuses on the kid’s autism and how it’s “a big deal with his condition.” When really anyone could’ve gotten it, he just got lucky. And it all goes down from there

2000 rolls around and he has to do an assignment for a cd cover but can’t use any copyrighted characters. So he slaps orange paint onto sonic, calls him Bionic and it’s all good...

Until 2007 where the forum Something by Awful discovered him and his mash up comic of a sonic and pikachu hybrid called Sonichu and genuinely mocked him for his autism, wanting a “boyfriend free girl.” which came with many stipulations, and loitering with a sign at public places and his college on a “love quest.” Trust me, Mary Lee Walsh is a fucking godsend for dealing with him and not being gentle bc he has autism. Fun Fact: Today (March 15,2021) is the 15th anniversary of the comic being published online. And since this was the early 2000’s internet, people fucked with him, a lot. Some pretended to be his girlfriend, one kid somehow convinced him to shove the medallion up his ass (and it’s made of crayola model magic that’s gotta hurt) and another bought it off of him and destroyed it. And this bled into the comics where Sonichu became less of the focus and more so Chris. No not Chris thorndyke, that would’ve been more buzzard than this. And he even was convinced by an elaborate troll that Nintendo wanted to make a game out of it, so he got rid of all the real people references and changed names. All while this was going on, his social life deteriorated as it was revealed he drew porn of himself and his only real life friend Megan, while giving a thumbs up. That is known as we came for cwc. She also inspired the anime art style as seen in this page and had her own rip off characters. But she’s another story for another time. So the comic and real life were bleeding together as he “killed” 4 of his trolls in a gruesome manner in the comic because they were telling him his behavior was gross and wierd and he also stole a fan character from someone and just slapped tits on it. So he killed it off but had a daughter w another character who participated in these gruesome murders of people who were telling him to knock off the love quest. and this is only the beginning of it

As of now, Chris has transitioned into Christine, became a trans woman lesbian and is roleplaying as her sonic/pikachu hybrid on Twitter while screaming about how G5 of MLP should be cancelled.

Some other things to note that I had no place for:

- Confessed to drinking a combination of semen and soda, most commonly Fanta

- got banned from a game store for shouting at a child during a Pokémon tcg match, so decided to run over the owner of the store with a car involving their mother. Yes he did sue for nearly being killed.

-lost virginity to a prostitute only a few years ago (and she’s 38 now)

- pepper sprayed a GameStop employee for sonic having blue arms. Yes that “Don’t call anybody” was from them.

- hasn’t had a steady job since 2001. She had been unemployed longer than I have been alive.

-as a man took photos of himself in his elderly mother’s bras because people asked him to. Also was a crossdresser or “Tom girl” for a few years before fully transitioning.

-hates pickles bc as a man they reminded her of dicks and at the time she was super homophobic (and revealed she had 2 sex dolls and stared at a sailor moon poster of Chibiusa I think to keep herself straight. It could’ve been chibiusa or Sailor moon herself) and got trolled by a man in a pickle suit

- made a furry version of his dead dog the same day she was put down and combined it with Sailor Moon

-has a memory journal where on the day of 9/11 he put a dark Arbok card in

The list goes on. It’s late and I might do a follow up later on

goku get em attitude

[elliot-orion]

Writeblr Re-Intro

I’ve seen quite a few people do this in the past couple weeks so i figure i probably should too considering how stinking long its been. so. hi there! I’m Elliot, and I use they/them pronouns! I’m a college kid majoring in creative writing and anthropology and regret doing both. I have a 9 year old emotional support cat, Van Gogh, who enjoys snoring, getting fur in my mouth, and chewing on my headphones. In addition to writing, I crochet amigurumis, play flight rising, bake like mad, obsess over dragons and stuffed animals, and spend way too much time thinking about superheroes. 

I mostly write LGBT+ Young Adult/New Adult fiction, and recently published my first novel, “Sparks Fly.” You can see a tumblr summary of it here. “Sparks Fly” and the majority of my stories take place in the expansive Dark Heart Universe full of not so heroic Super Heroes and Super Villains with questionable but not necessarily bad morals. But I like to dabble all over and have WIPs including a horror duology, a scifi roadtrip story, and about 800 other WIPs that are going nowhere because I’m a pantser and that’s how i roll. Expect to see me name drop some characters or a story, tag it in one ask game, and then never mention it again rather frequently. I apologize in advance. The main stories you will actually see me mentioning a bunch are below the cut. 

I technically have a website, and I technically have a twitter, but the former is a mess because I can’t program or remember to regularly blog and the latter i never use because social media scares me. Think there’s like 10 tweets on it and all of them are niche shitposts about my stories so... yea. I do have a Pinterest though, where you can find boards for most of my stories as well as a few of the name dropped once stories. so that’s fun. This intro is a mess.... Anyways, below the cut are some quick summaries of my main WIPs. If you want to learn more about the world that half of these are a part of (the DHU), look through this tag because my only summary series of it is way out of date. 

Woodsmoke

A DHU novel. Woodsmoke is a Hero who 100% should not be going to the worst Villain in town, Stardust, for help, but fuck it he doesnt have any other option. In return for helping Woodsmoke save a whole bunch of school kids, Stardust demands Woodsmoke owes him a favor - he has to help Stardust and his gang get rid of the Director of the city’s Supers Association branch. The only probably is, the Director control everything, and Woodsmoke is utterly terrified of him. But, he owes a favor, and he’s even more afraid of what Stardust could do to civilians than he is of what the Director could do to him. When it all goes wrong, maybe its time for him to give up being a Hero and stop being Woodsmoke. Maybe it’s time to just be Vincent again, and finally heal from the damage the SA has done. This is on its fourth draft and still needs about 2 or so more (guessing here), but will hopefully be the next DHU book released (dont quote me on that im winging this)

Nightmare at the Lily Pad Inn 

A DHU novel. Ben, who’s technically a Villain but really just can’t control their powers for shit and their powers are like, really scary so its bad, is on the run from their sociopathic asshole brother. They wind up at the Lily Pad Inn, a safe haven for Villains no matter what they’ve done, run by the cinnamon roll sweetheart Matty and their husband, Blue. While there, Ben meets Oliver, another not-technically-bad Super who can’t control his powers, and meets up with Morty, their best friend. Shit happens i guess idk i’ve not written a real summary for this one yet leave me alone. It’s on the first draft and its not even finished and i have no idea what the ending is because im a pantser go away.

Novella Collection

A DHU collection i guess. I’m not quite sure what else to call this because it’s made of three or so different novellas that I intend to fit together into a collection of novellas. The three novellas includes: the Empath, about Charlie who may just be the worlds most powerful empath and his partners who are very not happy with their area’s Director wanting Charlie to do something that could 100% kill him; Hell in High Heels, a historical DHU story about the Terra (Kitty), the Earth Elemental of the time, and Fer-De-Lance (Hattie), the Poison Elemental, and how they get married sorta unwillingly (thanks SA), break a shit ton of stereotypes, and help win World War 2.; and finally Wildfire, about the current day Fire Elemental and the Villain he really shouldn’t be so attracted to but 100% is and them chilling and being gay and idk this one needs a lot of work. All of these novellas have only had 1 draft and are still needing a lot of work. 

And now for some not dhu stories... 

The Other Beings / The Doll Maker

This is that horror duology I mentioned earlier. The Other Beings follow Nathan. He got sucked into the terrifying world of the Other Beings (well, 5 worlds actually),  when he was 7 years old because of a brother he’s never quite forgiven for making him and his pseudo-sister Hazel hunt minor Beings for his whole childhood and fucking Nate up massively. He managed to leave the horror of the Other Beings for all of seven years before he was sucked back in by the Doll Maker, an Other Being with a penchant for turning pretty children and people into ball-jointed dolls. Turns out a horde of Other Beings is coming after him because of his dad which is a Bad and now he’s having to run as a human macguffin and trust me - he’s not happy about it. Only the Other Beings draft 1 has been written because it’s a dark story and with covid i have not have the mental energy to work on it more, but it’s super fun and i adore it. The Doll Maker, the second book, is solely about Doll Maker and his shit. 

Paper Stars 

Paper Stars is the scifi I mentioned, and just might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written, even though its only had one draft because it’s hella depressing (literally, the mc River is seriously suicidal) and with all the shit in my life rn i haven’t had the strength to work on it more. but i adore the story. Basically, River’s life has gone to hell since his Grandpa died and the only thing making him hold on is really his alien best friend, Keio. When his depression gets even worse, he finally asks Keio to take him away from Earth and to space to escape his problems. This works, kinda, i mean he falls in love and shit (yes River falls in love with a seal furry alien, please go through the tag its great), but eventually he knows he has to face his problems and get help because this is a realistic story about depression and love doesnt cure all and you cant run from mental illness. It’s great. 

That’s kinda all the main stories i mention a lot, all the others are little things i start and stop or that i write a self indulgent first draft but never intend to take it any further. all of these i fully intend to publish one day tho. So... yea. Welcome to my blog, its chaos but we have a good time. 

[peachgreenteelemonade]

happiest little doggo

a dan and phil phanfiction

Why had he decided running was a good idea?  Dan panted as he jogged very slowly around regents park.   Okay maybe it was good for his mental health, but without someone to keep him company his legs felt like they had heavy weights strapped to them and the crisp late summer air felt like gelatin.  At least he’d gotten some twitter content out of it, that little lego man had really sang to his dark, cynical soul, and he stopped for a a few minutes (fifteen was a few) to check the replies.

This giant, soft, noodle body wasn’t meant for any sort of exercise, Dan thought as he checked his phone for the two hundredth time, slowing to a power walk.  Why couldn’t running at least be interesting?  Dan wished he was talented enough to exercise and scroll through tumblr at the same time.

Phil had known this was gonna happen.  The his boyfriend had laughed when Dan mentioned going out to exercise without a buddy.  Dan had felt so affronted, he could run if he wanted too, sure maybe he usually needed some other incentive, but he could motivate himself just fine!  He was an adult!  He let his annoyance fuel him as he started to lopsidedly jogging again, his gigantic feet slapping on the pavement.  

To be completely honest, Phil hadn’t been discouraging.  He’d laughed a little, but it had been more amused than anything.

“You’re serious?” He’d asked as he poured himself his third cup of coffee, his blue eyes incredulous.

“Yes, what’s so strange about that?”  Dan had asked while he pulled his running shoes on his clown sized feet.  “I can run anytime I want to.”

“Of course you can,” Phil had agreed, walking over to his laptop.  “I’m honestly just surprised you’re going outside instead of doing aerobics in the gaming room.  No one even had to lure you with a dog this time.”

“Oh ha ha,” Dan grumbled as Phil laughed.  “You know, you could come with me.”

“Yeah I love you and I’m glad you’ve realized exercise is good for you, but that’s not happening,” Phil’s pink tongue peeked out of the side of his mouth as he sat down to edit and Dan tried to mask his fondness with an eye-roll.

Stupid Phil, he could do what he wanted.  Dan thought in time to the beat of his feet on the pavement.  But he was regretting it now, maybe he could have stayed inside and done jumping jacks while Phil laughed at him for shaking the house.  

Dan checked his phone again.  20 minutes was long enough right?  Dan disregarded the fact that most of that had been spent on his phone and he turned to head home.  He stopped in his tracks though as he saw something furry in the middle of the street.  

His eyes shot straight to the mangy dog as if he was a dog-finding-machine and he jogged toward the creature before he even thought about it.  

The big dog was darting in between cars as car horns honked and tires screeched, but luckily Dan  ran in front of the car and it skidded to a stop instead of hitting the animal.

“Hey!”  A big burly man hollered, honking his horn from his truck, “Don’t run out in the middle of the fucking street!”  Dan just flipped him the bird as he knelt down in front of the dog.

“Hey puppy,” he murmured, “let’s get out of the street why don’t we.”  The dog just panted as Dan scratched its chest and he could feel its little heart pumping with adrenaline.  Luckily, the dog followed the tall man out of the street and sat quietly as Dan sat on a bench and examined the animal for identification.  

But its neck was free of anything but matted fur and probably a couple of fleas.

“No owner, huh,” Dan said, looking into the dogs brown eyes and scratching its floppy ears.  Its tail tentatively started to wag.  “That must have been scary, I’m glad a saw you.”  The dog whined a little as if in response and pressed up against Dan’s bare, hairy knee.  “Oh no,” Dan hummed, “Phil’s gonna kill me.”

He was keeping this dog.

***

The dog seemed to be quite attached to Dan too if the way she (yes she was a girl, he’d checked) followed him as he walked briskly to the nearest pet store was any indication.

“Come on doggo,” Dan said as the dog looked up from where she trotted beside him and he reached down and gave her a little scratch on the back of her neck.  “Let’s get you cleaned up and pretty,” he looked into her adoring puppy eyes, “you’re gonna be such a pretty girl.  I can see it already.”  Her long pink tongue rolled out of her mouth and she almost looked like she was grinning.  Dan felt warmth spark in his chest and he smiled, not caring about his dimple.  Exercise really was better with someone to keep him company.

***

Fortunately, the pet shop was only a few blocks away and when he got there the cashier knew everything he needed to get.

“We also have a groomer attached if you want to get her cleaned up,” the cashier said, Kiersten, her name tag read.

“That would be amazing, thank you.”

When the dog came out she was fluffy and clean and he could see that her fur was wavy and yellow rather than the tangled brown it had been before.

“Come here Winnie,” burst out of his lips and the dog bounded into his arms.  Dan giggled as she licked his face and internally scoffed at himself, it seemed like he was naming her Winnie the Pooh.  How on brand.

She let out a happy bark and Dan gave in and sat on the floor of the pet shop letting her cover his face in slobber and cover his black clothes with hair.

“She’s adorable,” Kiersten said, smiling as she knelt down next to him.  “Do you think you’ve got everything?”

Dan stood back up, lifting his bags full of food and supplies.  “I think so,” He replied, still smiling at Winnie.  “Thank you for everything,”  his dimple winked and Kiersten blushed a little.

“O-of course!”  

She waved them out of the store as Dan clipped Winnies new black leash to her shiny black collar.  

“I’m gonna take such good care of you,” he said as he bent down on the pavement outside.  Her doggy eyes looked at him with complete trust and Dan almost felt like he could cry.  “You’re going to be the happiest dog in the world.”  Winnie licked his face in response and Dan laughed, his nose scrunching up as he pulled away a bit.  “Phil’s gonna love you.”

And he did, though he did put up a half-hearted argument for the name Susan.